Afraid to Live

I’ve been so afraid to live my life (go to work, organize my life) for the last two weeks. I really hated how I felt. I’m still mildly sick but pushing through to get things done. I have a good job, make good money, it’s not my job’s fault that I’m irresponsible with my cash. I’ve given some rent money to Mark’s mother and told her I’d have more asap. I broke the news to Mark that I think I’ll be moving in with my Mum. I vaguely hinted at the idea of me staying if he really wanted me to but he replied with some bullshit about not telling me how to live my life so ultimately it’s my decision. I just don’t want him to move on with some other girl. I took a shower after who knows how long. I shaved my legs for the first time in like three months. It made me feel better. I’ve been lazy to a mega degree. Time to snap out of it. 

I wrote out a list of everything that’s been bothering me and I’m trying to tackle it one complaint at a time.