Gripes & Plans

Me and Social Media… it’s been a while. My boss brought up how she sees people’s kids growing up on Social Media and unfortunately my followers don’t have that privilege anymore. I don’t post anything, not even myself or motivational things. Nothing. It feels good but I miss it. I’ve been thinking about going back but I like my mental health right now. It’s getting better, stronger. I have more energy, I just feel lighter. This could be the meds, it could be that I’m finally free of the cash advance siege on my money, it could be that I’m speaking my sober mind to Mark about feelings and such, it could be that all of my belongings are either in my house where I sleep or in storage rather than half at Mark’s, etc. I’m feeling good now that life isn’t so chaotic. I’m still afraid to talk to Mum about why she feels the need to drink almost every night, but it’s not life threatening like it was a couple of years ago. Now I have to sum up the courage to talk to my Dad. I’m angry about Christmas and how he’s chasing love across the Pacific yet he can’t come see his only granddaughter more than twice in seven years. It’s unacceptable. And I’m sick of sending gifts and not knowing if he even received them. I’m not putting all of my precious money into bitcoin like he suggests and I’m sorry it took so long to say something other than “everything is good”. Everything is not good. Or was not good. It’s better now. 

Looks like the girls and I are headed to Canada. I finally got the courage to ask if we could go on a mini-break somewhere in the summer and they both said they’d be down for that. Besides a quick stop for more fuel on a flight to Germany, I’ve never been to Canada. We were hoping to find a house to rent just for the Weekend and take in the city. It’s far enough in the future that I would be able to save up for it.