Angry Work Vent

Angry. I’m so angry. My department absolutely sucks. I felt like this last week too and instead of getting angrier, I created a position for myself to transfer out of my department that I haven’t even proposed to higher-ups yet. It made me feel better. Now though, I’m experiencing the same bullshit and I don’t feel like transferring. I feel like fucking leaving. My job is fucking hard and thankless. I don’t think that my boss understands my frustration, how I’m left to do pretty much everything except ring people up in the café and make their orders… because I’m doing everything else. She has an event, I’m breaking my back putting it together and taking it down. No one else gives a fuck. I’m breaking my back putting together birthday parties and trying to create revenue for our department to look better to our boss, the director…

 And for what?

Ms. Clancy gets all the glory for my blood, sweat, and tears. I really have half a mind to just straight-up leave. “Sorry, Vivian needs me, I have to go.” Wtf would they do? What would Ms. Clancy do? How would that make her feel? She literally told me to get Silly Goose #2 and Silly Goose #3 together, close our café for five minutes, create a master plan to get things done today, and actually expect everything to get done with minimal issues. She doesn’t know them like I do. I give them a list, they choose whatever and “take ownership”, then I have to swoop in at the last minute and fix everything. I don’t want to live with that fucking stress. That’s no way to live. I’d rather just do it by myself. Fuck them, they’re going to give about 40% of a shit about their job and I have to make up the rest plus give my own 100%… the math doesn’t equal dick. I keep running into this problem and besides leaving, I don’t know what the fuck to do. I’m sure as fuck not going to schedule so many birthday parties on Saturdays anymore. Only what I can handle without help because FUCK my department. The kitchen: great crew, I love their chemistry. Silly Goose #1, love her and what she does. The rest of them can fuck a goat, seriously. I’m so fed up with the laziness. Why should I suffer? Why should I have to break my back when they’re perfectly capable of moving chairs and tables? I’m so annoyed. I don’t want to do the thinking for them when they’re capable adults that received this job because we thought they we capable. Well, technically Silly Goose #2 starting a week before me and #3’s interview was NOT good, regardless of what the HR lady said. They’re friends, that’s why she recommended him. Fuck her opinion, it’s so askew. Silly Goose #4 was terminated this morning. He was actually late to his firing, he bummed a ride from someone just to get here and be, well, you know. The audacity. The naivety. Hopefully he learned how to maintain a job from this experience. I wish him well.

Mum had an awful day too. Her schedule at work got all changed around and now she works too many hours that aren’t the money making hours. Today just sucks. I applied for a few jobs to to put some feelers out there, so I feel better about my crummy job. She’s applying elsewhere too. I wish she didn’t have to work. I wish I could support the household and she just support us here and there with a home-cooked meal and toilet paper. I want to get this event planning company started. I’ve been tossing around an idea to work for myself instead of busting ass for someone who doesn’t give a shit. I’m excited about it and wish Mum would be excited about it too but I have to make it look serious and active in order to gain exposure and customers.

This Friday the 13th was a doozy. I didn’t like it. I usually don’t and I knew with Ms. Clancy gone, everyone was gonna act a fool. I’ve felt stressed all day, even during my lunch where I forced myself to sit someone quiet and watch a WWII documentary. It sort of worked but I’m just nervous about tomorrow. There’s a lot to do and I have to be ready. Going forward though, I will NOT be scheduling so may parties. I’m gonna have to really be careful not to work too hard. I hate having to find that balance.

At least it’s payday.