Mood: 
Listening to: Prodigy’s Firestarter
The other night, my assignments and test for chapter 1 for ONE of my classes was due and I sat there, contemplating whether I should just drop it or not. It pissed me off but in the end, I finished my assignments and aced the test. I felt so proud of myself for accomplishing the tasks before the deadline. The old me would have dropped out immediately. However, this afternoon, with another deadline approaching quickly, I sat at my computer, opened the reading material and started to read, but nothing was sticking. I began to even wonder if this was a good idea because the stuff I was reading was so boring. I get it, it’s the world of accounting, it’s not going to be exciting and maybe that’s why I’m so turned off by it. But literally, as I’m reading the text, I’m thinking ‘Will I enjoy this career?’ I know people piss me off, like a lot, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not very good at taking care of them. Anyway, long story short: I have dropped those classes with the looming deadlines, switched my mind once again from Accounting to Hospitality and I’m going to keep it that way. I’m actually excited about Hospitality because I’ve worked in customer service for so long and have encountered so many situations, in and out of the food industry. I retook the Myers-Briggs personality test just for funsies and came out as an INFJ-T. Reading through all the strengths and weaknesses, it described me to a T. Just because I’m an introvert doesn’t mean that I should fear people, I just prefer being alone, that’s all. So by switching majors, I have registered for fall classes, which don’t start until three months from now. Plenty of time to prepare.
I swear, I have taken on a leopard print persona. Everything I own is leopard print now. It catches my eye most of all and I love it. Today was the gathering with the “besties” and I chose a leopard print dress. But everyday I’ve incorporated it somehow into my life. Mark says it reminds him of Peggy from the show Married With Children and to me, that’s not such a bad thing. So yeah, the bestie gathering. We met at my work for a tour and a tasting. It was so nice to see them, I was genuinely happy. I made notes on my reservation about the wines that I think they’d like to try and specifically mentioned that I wasn’t drinking. Our tour guide poured me some anyway, a really nice, bubbly selection too, to which I responded by pouring it into Amber’s glass. I think I told three or four co-workers today that I was in recovery. It was slightly embarrassing, but oh well. The tour was nice, I learned some stuff about the winery that I didn’t know. I got to eat some of the new menu items which were mighty tasty. Over the course of our time together, I realized that I indeed am Type-A. My besties are more spontaneous whereas I need to plan things, hence why I’m always the one reaching out and choosing the place. So many people in my life are go-with-the-flow kind of people so I need to realize that and chill. Of course we’re getting together next month, they’re happy to see me and I’m happy to see them.
Amber took a picture of Ruby and I before the tour with her insta-print camera. When it developed, I about dropped to the floor. I noticed how large I am. Like, really large. I feel large because I am large. I hate being this size. It’s the biggest I’ve ever been, I feel, and I’m really pushing my doctor for the gastric sleeve surgery. I’ve been big all of my life, it’s not fair how many hoops I have to jump through. Anyway, it wrecked my self-confidence for the rest of the day. I arrived feeling so good.
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