Surreality

Mood:

Listening to: Brandi Investigates on the YouTube

Yesterday was pretty surreal. Mark actually came over, cooked dinner for Mum and I and even spent the night. My mind is still literally blown. The three of us sat at a table, ate a dinner that he and I cooked, and actually had a great time together. It was so amazing. I wish I had taken a picture but that would have been weird. Actually I did when everyone was in my room, but it was in secret. I just couldn’t believe it. Mum and Mark have never really gotten along so this was incredible. Both of them were putting their hurt feelings aside. He’s still here, in my bed! If you would have asked me a month ago, three weeks ago, two days ago, if I thought Mark and Mum would be in the same room, I would have just laughed in your face. Now, it’s different. I love it. It makes me want to stick with me and find a larger house for us to live in together. I know that’s a huge step from cooking us dinner, but it was just so nice. I truly hope that this change in behavior or sudden realization about our faults (mainly his) last for a great while, like forever. He’s a whole different human and I love it. His guard is down, he’s sharing things about his life, the way it was supposed to be. My besties are gonna be mad but oh well. Sam was a fun distraction but I’m over it. And the fact that me being quiet on my end basically initiated him ghosting me, it wasn’t hard to get over him. Essentially he was waiting for me to chase him and I’m so done with that noise. I think I made the right decision. What he did was a bitch move, but it’s his loss. It’s his loss.

I know I said that I was done with this chapter in my life, but now I feel like there’s a whole new chapter with Mark opening up, being an entirely different person. A better human, with more communication and openness. Ugh, am I being naïve? He’s going through something with his family so I hope that all of this newfound ability to be himself is genuine. I’m going to be myself also and not hold back. If I’ve got a question, I’m bringing it to his attention.