Angry for Days

Work has absolutely driven me to the edge today. I’m really getting sick and tired of being the fall guy for the shitty party planning made by my boss. We have a room to celebrate birthdays that’s right next to the pool. We schedule parties at 12pm in there however the pool isn’t open for everyone to swim until 1pm. For the past three weekends, every party at 12pm in that room has complained about not being able to swim, “what am I supposed to do?”. Today, the host of the party said that she was told their party had special access to the pool for the hour they were in the room. She definitely misheard but chose to take her anger out on me. She and her husband. That set the tone for the rest of my day where I had two more parties to smile for. Of course I called my boss and she did nothing. She gave me words to pass along to them, which is not what they wanted at all. I’ve already suggested to my boss that we forgo parties at that time in that room because obviously they’re not listening or reading the fine print, but she isn’t having it. She refuses to listen, so I have to scramble to find things for this party to do and be apologetic and let this random stranger vent their anger on me when I’m already in a fragile state… fuck this job. Seriously. Have I ever been happy in a job? No. This job has great perks but I’m sick of being the go-to person. I’m not very good at it, never have been. I should have cried while being yelled at, see how they like that. Telling them that I was the messenger did nothing, they continued to berate me, as though I purposely planned for everyone to be miserable. I’m sick of working on Saturdays and being “that girl” for the parties. I fucking hate it so much. We have a Saturday in two weeks with 5 parties scheduled and it just dawned on my boss that she could work that day (uhm, duh?). What’s frustrating aside from dealing with angry, misinformed customers is that I have to do the thinking for my team. They can’t make decisions such as turning up the heat on the oven and recooking pizzas, etc. My lunch, a 30 minute off-the-fucking-clock genuine break, is interrupted every five minutes with a text from someone asking a stupid fucking question or even communicating what they’re doing with me. I’m not a salary worker however if I don’t answer the text, nothing will get done, all progress stops. It’s absolute bullshit and needs to be fixed.

I’m so angry. I’ve been angry for days and I have nothing to relieve me. NOTHING. Mark has made me look a fool for the last time, claiming the whole time I lived at his house that we were never a couple, and now he’s actually trying to convince me that I didn’t ask about how he felt regarding me moving out, which is an utter lie. It breaks my heart that we can’t be together, he said he wouldn’t even consider it until I’ve been sober for a year. I won’t be giving him updates on my sobriety any longer. He’s called me out for being a bitch to him and at first, I didn’t understand given that that’s not my M.O. Now I just don’t fucking care about his feelings, I truly don’t believe he has any and I pray to God that my daughter never EVER romantically encounters someone as manipulative as her father. Fuck him. With every ounce of hatred within me, I give it all to him.