Getting It Done

Another productive day in the books. I told myself yesterday when I was at my storage unit that on a nice day I would come back and organize everything. Well, I did. In my head, I assumed that it would take hours… it took less than forty-five minutes. I fee so good about it. I meant to take a picture to look back on my success. Anyway, I collected all of Mark’s stuff and neatly piled it in one corner, I designated one corner as the “Christmas Corner”. Somehow I’ve acquired two more Christmas totes (one small, one medium) after swearing that I’d just keep it to one extra large tote. Whatever. Now I can see AND access everything: all the holiday stuff, all the memories and yearbooks that I never want to see again. Another corner was taken over by my memory totes. I used to have a really special wooden box that kept all of my stuff from the past, it was like a chest, but after so many moves, it couldn’t withstand them all. It fell apart. I hope to buy the same for Vivian, only I’ll keep hers until she is in a good space as an adult. Maybe she never leaves, who knows? I hate thinking about it. 

I overspent. My taxes are gone and yeah. I don’t have money troubles “yet” because I have money set aside but yeah. I wish I had more. Buying frivolously is so dangerous. I put together a budget, my monthly bills and monthly needs with a few wants. Then broke that down into pay checks and how I could slash larger bills in half if I already save half. With the math done, I’m barely squeaking by. After that, I canceled the streaming services and AI. I can’t afford it right now, I’m saving for two vacations this year even though I said I wouldn’t travel anywhere, especially with Mum. The Desert trip couldn’t have happened without her however she ruined it, like a lot. I just want to go somewhere and relax. Read a fucking book, delete pics from my phone; no pressure to go anywhere or feel the desire to purchase meaningless possessions even though I can’t afford it. I just want to go somewhere in the summer, lay out, and read. I lowered my goal of how many books to read this year. We’re in the third month out of twelve and I’ve read zero books. Ugh.