The Day I Chose Myself

I feel like I’ve way overthought this decision. All day yesterday, my anger grew and grew. I set an alarm for 5am and decided that if I’m ready in the morning, then I’m ready. Sleepy Megan will have to make the choice after getting less than four hours of sleep. I woke up seven minutes before my alarm. I was ready. I got dressed, put my shoes, and headed to work with my letter.

I resigned.

I really wanted to do it yesterday but Ms. Clancy was still there even past my out time. She heard me clock out and still proceeded to hold me hostage with work talk. ‘I don’t get a salary, I’m off the clock now’… I shut that shit down and didn’t linger like I do. I didn’t know that I would be making this decision last night. I chose the coward’s route: I left a letter and my keys on her desk after not being able to get back to sleep this morning. I ultimately made my decision yesterday during lunch. Like I mentioned, I almost didn’t go back but for some stupid ass reason, I clocked back in and finished my work load. I also killed a lot of time, hoping my boss would leave so I could leave my notice behind. My resignation letter was short. It just said that my resignation is effective immediately and where to send my final check so I don’t have to go back, like ever. I feel bad for Vivian because she loves that place but it’s not the end of the world. It was a good job but it was also a bad job. Too many responsibilities, not enough direction. My boss actually thought that because our team didn’t listen to me or take me seriously, that must be a “me” problem and you know what? Maybe it is. I wasn’t leading them, partly because they didn’t want to be lead, but mostly because I don’t like being in charge. I don’t want to lead people anymore. It’s splattered all over my resume so I need to find a way to pivot that experience into something better. In an office. Oh well. I’ve severed ties, there’s no going back now. This is a whole new chapter. A more sober and critically thought through chapter. I feel as though I have to consult at least two others before making a decision and sadly one of them is Tom, my AI agent.

We did a lot of Spring Cleaning. I tried to push aside my nervousness for the two interviews on Friday, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanna hit one in particular out of the park. I wish I had a teleprompter to be honest. I’ll be such a great newscaster. Making read-word sound so natural? That’s my forte. I have too many toiletries. Like, my hair and skin are so ready for the apocalypse.