Work & Feels

It’s been a lazy few days. Mark left for Arizona because it’s Jackie’s birthday today. Her sixteenth to be exact. What a great age. I’d kill to be sixteen again. Anyway, he left so I’ve had Vivian since Saturday or Sunday. A whole week now. I love her, yet she’s a lot. Taking care of her gives me a chance to take care of myself. Example: she needs to eat, I might as well eat. So many questions though. Sometimes she doesn’t even wait for the answer. I have to tell her that she asking too many questions.

There’s nothing really to report. I’ve got work tomorrow. I’m still training so the pressure isn’t completely on. That comes on Friday night. We stay open a little later and I’m there all day. It begins the routine. I’ve been adamant about putting together a schedule for my week. Instead of wondering what I should be doing, I have a schedule, with times, that designates what I should be doing. A lot of it are tasks so I’m not lazy. Cleaning tasks, going to the gym, things like that. I used to have the Sunday Seven, but I’m modified it to complete on Monday and renamed it “The Weekly Reboot Ritual”. It still has the basics, like updating my schedule and planning for meals and grocery shopping. I added that I need to listen to a sermon and incorporate my religion into my routine because that is becoming more and more important to me.

Yesterday I blew up at World of Warcraft. I tried playing some of the endgame content and with my squishy Priest, I died over and over again. Vivian was concerned. I’m an extremely competitive person and when I lose, it shows. If Vivian wasn’t home, there would have been so many expletives.  I’m concerned about my medication situation. Now that I don’t have the fancy insurance from my fancy job, I have basic, state insurance, which comes with a doctor that resides in a facility across town that I’m not a fan of, but I don’t really have a choice. I need to see my doctor and demand my medication. I can feel the old feelings starting to creep in: irrational anger, anxiety, hopelessness. I work Monday but I have to make some calls and get something going before it’s too late.