Carrying the Friendship

Mood:

Listening to: Boston’s More Than A Feeling

Today is going to be another long one. I got up early enough to actually wake up and enjoy my life before heading into work. I chose the wrong breakfast, but whatever. Note to self: My favorite soup and noodles are not a suitable breakfast. Maybe I’ll get something on the way to work.

I’m disappointed with my besties. I feel like I’m always the one who is initiating contact and get-togethers. And when I’m denied time with them because of a prior engagement, I get sad and jealous. I wanted to go camping with the girls at the end of next month and we talked about it. Everyone was free on the 1st to go, but now when I’m confirming the date once more before putting down a deposit, I’m told that one of them has a potluck to go to. After Amber’s birthday get-together, I’m seriously not going to pull the strings anymore. Let them do the pulling. It’ll break my heart when we stop getting together every month, but oh well. It broke my heart when we decided not to travel together anymore, like go on trips. We were waiting for Amber to buy a house before doing it… now that she has, we can’t seem to get our shit together. So whatever, you know? I’ll just send my letters and cards and hope that they reach out to me, because I’m sick of doing it. And by sick of doing it, I’m sick of feeling like a sad puppy that wants attention. We’re adult women, it shouldn’t be like that. I take some offense because they’re more premium adults since my life is so unstable but I can’t just come out and say that.