Standing By

Mood:

Listening to: PEEKABOO, Flowdan, and SKrillex’s Badders

Yesterday was a good day at work. I felt productive, constantly checking in with people to see if they needed help. One girl was completely in the weeds so I was happy to oblige. She spoke highly of me to a manager so that was good. I was so convinced that she and her roommate hated me. Still think that, but whatever, that’s my cross to bear. I don’t have to work until 4pm tonight, so I’ve ran errands, hung out. I’m a little disappointed that Mark didn’t text me last night or this morning but whatever. I’m really trying not to be so hyper-fixated on that stuff. It’s very “high school” so I’m going to be more mature about it. But yeah, yesterday I was scheduled for the bar and the patio, so I spent my first half outside, in the heat. Thankfully I had dressed accordingly so I was okay, but half way through, I really wanted to go inside. Not only because of the weather, but because it was really dead inside. Less stress, less pressure. I just got up to helping a lead with her glass washing/polishing project and helping other servers be their best.  That’s where I thrive. I really enjoy helping others be their absolute best and that’s why I think I would do SO WELL in the hospitality training sector of our industry.

I’m excited for next week, I’ve got a lot going on. Time with Mark, time with the besties, time with Vivian. Then work on the weekend. I opened up my availability at work to have Thursdays on my docket. Yesterday made me realize that my credit is absolute shite and I can’t even get a car loan without a co-signer. I need to stay at my job for a while, pay down my stupid credit card debt instead of avoiding it, and go from there. I have this secured credit card that has a small balance on it now, so I’m making baby steps. Fixing credit doesn’t happen overnight, even though I wish it did. I make a small payment to a debt collector who’s been trying to reach me for some time now. It felt good giving them money, in the smallest way possible obviously.

I’m disappointed that for this event tonight, I’m assigned “Stand-by Server”. I was the floater last time, like, do they not think I’m capable of interacting with the public? I’m also a tad relieved that I don’t have an assigned position and am just floating again, but still. It hurts. I’m being sensitive but whatever. I’m still putting on lashes, fuck them.