Mood: 
Listening to: System of a Down’s Aerials
Vivian had a playdate with Amber’s son at the indoor amusement park. It was nice catching up with Amber, but I noticed that Viv likes to “parallel play”. She’ll play alongside others but most keep to herself. I was the same way after I moved in with Dad. Imagine: you’re in third grade. You’re popular, people like you, you have friends, then you come home after a day of school to find all of your belongings packed into boxes and bags. You’re told you’re going to live with your Dad in another town and attend a new school. Pretty devastating, right? I didn’t really recover. My first friend didn’t come until 7th grade, a few years later. I was the girl who had fun sleepovers, with the Mom that did the fun crafts. That all was upended that day I came home. In my adulthood, Mum would tell me everything was supposed to be temporary but things didn’t turn out that way. I have no comment on the situation given that I was directly involved. Dad’s was more stable for me at that time and that’s okay. People make mistakes, I don’t fault her for that anymore. I will, however, rant about my childhood because it was not easy or nurturing. Anyway! Viv had a good time, I had a good time.
I was so angry with Mark. For like, two days. I finally broke the silence, asking if I did something wrong, knowing full-well I have done nothing wrong. He didn’t know how tightly wound I was so he was waiting for a response from me. Totally the opposite reaction I was hoping for but whatever. I said I didn’t know that. We moved on. I asked about his favorite anime, hoping to glean a character that I could dress up as to turn him on. To paraphrase, he said he didn’t need that. It didn’t take much to turn him on, but if I want to dress up for me to feel sexy, that’s fine. I said that I just wanted to be his fantasy. His literal choice of words: “What if you already are?” I about melted. This mother fucker. I told him that I was flattered and that was it. I didn’t want to make a big deal about it however I was completely elated. He can be such a prick and then say the most flattering thing… I don’t understand. I’m sleeping over at his house tomorrow night and I’ve got some really cute pajamas. He won’t give a fuck about them but I know they’re cute.
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