Long and Arduous

Mood:

Listening to: Flux Pavilion – Let’s Get It

What a long ass day. I’ve been getting up before my alarm which is nice. It went off during breakfast, Mum and I went to a diner around the corner from our flat to eat. It was decent and we split something so it was affordable. We checked out a potential new flat across town but I think we should stay where we are until we find a house to move into, for the backyard and the separate rooms. For now, I don’t mind sharing a room with Viv. I fall asleep with an earbud in my ear more than half the time so I don’t hear shit in the night. We looked in the windows like stalkers and checked out the patio that was not enclosed. The feng shui seemed off and plus it was almost in the middle of nowhere, far away from the city. We haven’t really talked about it, but I texted her my opinion. She agreed but she might have a different opinion.

I tried my hand at dating apps again just to see… well I don’t really know. It’s all the same. Forced conversations and fear of being murdered if we meet in public. I’ll never meet a person to date. I downloaded them again because I want to get over Mark. He’s so emotionally unavailable yet he’ll get flirty and I’ll open my heart again, only to get crushed with disappointment. I’m still hoping for the person I fell in love with ten years but he’s not that person anymore. He never will be and now we’re forced to coparent until who knows when. I have to be strong and fill my life with things I’m excited about and can safely invest in.

Work was long and arduous. I worked the patio all day. It was chilly to start and the gal that was originally set to work the patio was obviously uncomfortable. So when it came time for me to head inside, I offered my position to her which she gladly accepted. It was chill outside, it always is. There were a few hiccups like any shift, but I like how my shifts aren’t crazy and stressful like when I worked at Red Robin. It gets busy but it’s manageable. Or maybe I’m a more evolved person and can handle it… nah, it’s the job. Today, my old boss from a previous job a couple years back who fired me came in for a glass of pinot and a beer for her weird husband. She knew who I was but didn’t say anything. When I looked at her, her face was familiar, but once she slammed her debit card in front of me and I got a glimpse of the name, I knew exactly who she was. She and her pedo-looking husband stayed way too long after closing, I’m glad our resident Trans-person shooed them away eventually. But yeah. Fuck her. I may have been a drunk but heard that she was a hardass when it came to her Dining Room Coordinator and didn’t give me a break even after telling me that she saw major potential in me (maybe that’s just something rich people say to the peons). Also the dining room team at her establishment was a bunch of schlomos. I loved working there but didn’t after a while. Anyway, small world. It’s a small friggin’ valley that we live in, it’s totally possible to run into someone that you don’t want to see. It happens to Mum and I frequently.  

Today was Day 5 of my sobriety.